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teacher24
This Feels Just Right

I've always heard I should have a teacher's journal. I just never "had the time" to start one. And it's ironic, considering I used to write often before I joined the profession. Then I found this forum, and I have to say that though I've never met anyone here (and might not ever meet anyone here), I know that I have found a group of people with whom I share a common bond: We go through the same scenarios in one way or another, and we genuinely care about the welfare of children. Anyone who is not a teacher (or parent) would not understand this.

 
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Just doing what I gotta do... and that's it!
by: teacher24, 10-28-2009

So here it is, Sunday night. I always seem to struggle with anxiety the night before Monday. I've been having a pretty rough year...I tried to expect it through the summer while still hoping for the best, but I always secretly dream for another ideal school year, after all, I did have one. I feel down, defeated, and like my bag of tricks have emptied out. I feel depressed, and though I try to express this to my loved ones, they will never truly know the pain that comes from wanting to do your job but having so many barriers that keep you from doing what you love. I love to teach. Before I began, I had doubts, but then I was sure that it was what I was meant to do. I love working with children, helping them, teaching them and learning from them. Though I am with a new school, I am beginning to feel as though working in the same building has brought along some mean curse and that maybe it is time to move on, to a new place of business in its entirety.I know I spend way too much time feeling sorry for myself and blaming parents and the system, but there are just truly many things about this career that I signed up for that I will never truly understand; things that just p*$$ me off. I care too much, and no matter how angry and bitter I am towards the system, I can never be one of those teachers who just come to work for the pay, because believe me, the pay is ok to be so young, but it is not really that great, especially as the cost of living continues to increase. So, what will I do? Continue to anticipate tomorrow and the day after that and keep in my mind that tomorrow is always another day and to just go in there and smile and never let anyone see what is really wrong...I just wish it were that easy for me... I have to pray daily and nightly just so that my face will not tell my life's story. Is this some kind of test? Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger...yea, well, I don't know how much stronger I can get, because I swear as the days go by, I can feel my heart breaking off into tiny pieces each day...for the kids and for myself...for not just being able to have a normal day...why does it always have to be such overkill? Well, I guess I just gotta do what I gotta do, and that's it.

1 Comments

Summer is Here!!!
by: teacher24, 06-21-2009

Well, here I am again... the end of another year. I survived! This year was rough...not as rough as my first year, but my students gave me a run for my money. Who knew five year olds could be so... interesting for their own good? I am down to my last week... 5 days to go, and I am estatic to have another summer to look forward to. I am burned out, and have been since March. Spring break did not help as it usually does. I hate to be so negative, but whoo! There are absolutly no words to describe my feelings of exhaustion and frustration that I have felt this year.

My school is just as much as a disappointment though... in December, we (staff) were all pulled into the library and told that our school was going to be phased out this comming fall... so we are closing! My feelings? It was only a matter of time. While I usually accept responsibility, in this case, I must say that a mixture of poor administration and untrustworthy teachers were our school's downfall. I don't take any responsibility here, because I know I work my a** off (please pardon my french) to do my job. Yes, I was part of the environment, but I seperated myself from all the drama to do what is in the best interest of all my students, regardless of my personal thoughts of tham and anything/anyone else!

With that said, I was truly concerned that I would have problems finding a position, but I was actually hired for the new school that would begin from pre-k through 2nd grade this year in out building. I was also hired at another school, but this week I will decline that offer.

Oh how I missed PT this year! Each fall, I get so drowned in the busyness and hustle and bustle of the new school year, that time passes and before I know it, another summer rolls around and I haven't been on PT all school year. I would go on and read posts at first, but then it just got so crazy (as it always does), and I always get caught up in the craziness. But I look forward to another summer with my PT friends!!! You are all so great, and I love spending summers with other teachers who can all relate to each other! It makes me feel so accepted!

So I am back!!! With just 5 days of school left, I am actually a few days early. I am just beginning to wind down. I look forward to another summer with my PT family!!!

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I am finally ready
by: teacher24, 08-31-2008

I am so excited!!! My classroom is ready, and boy is it nice. I found a set up that was perfect, and I have worked for about 4 days to get it up and running. I have received my class list. 19 students, 16 boys, 3 girls... Oh dear me!!! What a challenge it will be this year. Now, I have to go over my lesson plans and change some of them, because I did not yet receive two of the books that I ordered in time. I am very pissed (excuse me) about that and will be getting a full refund. Anyway, good luck to all teachers out there, and I hope everyone has a wonderful and exciting new school year

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I'm back, and it's time for school!!!
by: teacher24, 08-25-2008

So here I am, back from Florida... the honeymoon was nice, considering the weather wasn't all that nice. We made the most of it, though. We still got out and did all those tourist things. We went to Universal Studios like three times out of the week! It was nice. Our resort was really nice also. Anyway, back to work. I do not know how to feel about that. I thought I'd be ready, but I wish I could steal some more time (and I wish I had just a little more money). I will be going in Wednesday to start setting up, then on Thursday & Friday, all the teachers will be back for the usual hoopla. Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I will be running around getting all the last minute things that I will need, and then... SCHOOL IS IN SESSION ON TUESDAY!!!. I can't wait to see all the kids... old students and new. I am both, nervous and excited. Not estatic to see old colleagues or admin (some more than others), and so not estatic to see all the new changes that will take place (because I know that many new changes will take place in our home away from home of instability). And I am even less estatic to see who my "new" supervisor will be . I am really unhappy about that one, because we lost the best one we'll probably ever have. Anyway, I am just happy to be going into year 4, more competent and willing as ever. I no longer feel like a newbie, though I know I have years ahead of me. I am a work-a-hoilc at times, but I am really going to work on that this year, and give myself and my husband the time that we need.

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Florida, here I come
by: teacher24, 08-14-2008

So here I am, two days away from my honeymoon... I am estatic. I have been trying to lesson plan because as soon as I return, it will be back to work for me, but it has been really difficult to think about work this week. That's good for me though, because I tend to be a work-a-holic at times. We leave Friday, so I am still going to try to get some work done tomorrow. I will miss PT soooooooo much during the week that I am gone. I enjoy reading all the posts. I will also miss watching Wendy Williams in the morning, and just being home (as you can tell, it will be my first time going away for pure R&R). Florida, Here I come!!!

3 Comments

I Love School
by: teacher24, 08-05-2008

Here it is, August 5th, about 3 weeks before I go back to work. Every summer since I have become a teacher, I suffer from many sleepless nights, as I anticipate what the new school year will be like. In my head, I map out new set-ups of my room, think about materials I want to purchase vs materials that I need to purchase, and lesson plans for the first 2 months. I also think about what to expect from the students, and dredfully, going back to the administrators that I am less than thrilled to see. This time of the year is so bitter-sweet for me, because I am so excited of what the new year will bring, but I am also extremely nervous because of new changes and new students that the new year brings. I can't wait to go and set up my room, because I think I finally have the set up that I want, and I am dying to see how the new arrangment will look. I have been trying to plan for September and October, but it is so hard because of all the requirements my school has. I am trying though. And I was able to order some new things this year, including books. I love books. My dear husband calls me a book worm. I brought Kevin knows the Rules, A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue, Kindergarten Rocks, Incredible me, and What I like about Me. I also brought Interactive Writing. I wanted to buy the Kidwriting book so badly, but I just could not squeeze it into my budget after I brought everything else. I brought an apple pocket chart, and a hundreds pocket chart (to keep track of the hundred days of school...I am tired of using cutesy ways to keep track; I am trying to do everything simple this year). I also brought Carson Dellosa's big alphabet, and I found a palm tree and ordered the monkeys to go along with it; this will be used as my behavior chart this year. I am way over my budget, as my DH and I will be leaving for Florida next Friday, and I said I was going to have to make some sacrifices this summer. And I still have made some sacrifices; there were some other things I really wanted to get, but definitely had to restrain myself until the trip is over. My poor husband; I asked him if he thought I was dedicated to my job and he said "yeah, maybe too much". He said that is was good though, as long as kids are learning, and we are all having fun in the process. I do tend to go overboard sometimes with work, but that's only because I want to do well and make sure that my students do well also. I will try really hard to make extra timefor both myself and my DH this year. Well, I'm off! I am going to try to get some planning done as well as some household chores today. Universal Studios, here we come!!!

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1 Attachment(s) Today I feel many things
by: teacher24, 07-26-2008

My mouth is hurting . the dentist told me that the pain would stop after two days. I had my wisdom teeth pulled on Wednesday, and here it is, Saturday. I really need someone to show me how you guys all make the different faces on PT, cuse right now, I'd have a mad face instead of a sad one. All I know are the happy and sad faces. Anyway, last night, my husband and I went to the movies. We saw Step Brothers with Will Farrel and John C. Riley. Talk about funny. If I could, I'd make the funny face right now, but I don't know which code it is. It was rated R, and there were so many young children in there, I was a little disgusted with parents. I mean kindergarten through second grade young. Granted, I saw a lot of things that I probably should not have seen when I was that age; my mom didn't censor anything from me, but she used to discuss a lot of what we were watching. Plus, this day and age is way different from when I was young, and I am only 25. I wasn't watching porn or listening to ear fulls of profanity either. I was watching day time talk like Oprah and Sally Jessie Raphael, things like that, so it was way different for me. It was just shocking to see so many babies laughing at parts of the movie that were grown up humorous. I shouldn't be shocked, in this day and age, but I can't help but to get a little upset, because if you think about it, it's these types of exposures that make our jobs a little harder. I don't know, that's just how I feel. When I walk down the streets, I hear children using many words like the ones I heard last night in the movie, so it is a little upsetting. I guess it is that whole debate over whether the media is to blame for influencing our children. I do not believe that it is them alone. I know that children repeat a lot of what they see and hear, but I feel that it is up to us adults to censor what the media will not; or atleast talk about it with our children. That would make some difference also. Anyway, I just hope my mouth feels better by tomorrow, cause my neices and nephew are comming over for the night tomorrow, and I want to be feeling good, so we can do lots of stuff!!! I'd put the excited face if I could. I am well on my way to being organized and prepared for the school year, and I am excited for my vacation, and I am excited to start back to work. I just wish I had more money so I wouldn't worry so much about spending what I do have and, so far, my grant proposal on Donor's Choose has not made any money, so I don't know what I am going to do about getting more classroom books for our library, because I can't afford to go out and buy a bunch of books at this time. We'll see. God has been very good to me in my past 25 years, and he always manages to help me get through any barriers, so in time, I'll have what I need to help children learn, and I will get through my tribulations becuase I know that he will continue to give me the strength to do so. I love PT, you guys are the best. You guys listen when I feel no one else does. I ramble to my DH and my DM, but it's nothing like having other educators to talk to. I don't even have colleagues on my job that I trust to confide in as much as I confide in you guys.

P.S. Here is my revised list of things I need to do to organize for the school year. I think I will keep this one and just change/add to it in the future as needed.

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my thoughts
by: teacher24, 07-27-2008

I can't wait to start work. There, I said it. To be totatly honest, I do not work in the most genuine environment, but I do miss teaching. I miss my students from this school year, and though I am excited to meet a new group, it will take some time for me to adjust. Does anyone else feel that way year after year, or do you ever get used to it? I just get so attached, I can't help it. Anyway, I love sleeping late every day, but aside from that, I do miss the hustle and bustle of the school day. I am also happy because I have received some things that I ordered to start the new school year. I brought a big wall clock with Winnie the Pooh, the big alphabet line from carson-dellosa, abc sweet lacing treats, and a few new books. I am looking forward to August 1st, because that's when teacher's choice starts. I am also trying to plan for the first few weeks of the year. My only worry is that I won't be as consistent as I plan to be. That's one thing I usually struggle with... being consistent. It didn't hurt me this past year (cause I had super great kids), but I have to get in the habit of being consistent ALL THE TIME. That is my main goal for the school year. Anyway, I am going to lay down for now, because I got two of my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday (and one more to go next Friday), and I have been taking Tylenol with codene to help with the pain... it makes me drowsy.

5 Comments

1 Attachment(s) more work
by: teacher24, 07-23-2008

So, here I am, still trying to master the art of organization! I am trying, but it's annoying me. But, If I don't get my things together, I will be a wreck. Believe me, it has happened before. I am trying to get a lot done this week, as the weekend will be another with my neices and nephew. Here is something else I've been trying to put together. Feel free to take a look. You might think I'm insane, but I need to mentally walk through every little detail in my head and write it down, or else I will be no good as far as consistency and organization and management goes. I started doing this last summer, and it has paid off. Now I am just looking over everything, fixing, changing and updating. I wish I was smart enough to do this my first year. If only I had known. That year was such a nightmare!!! Those poor children. Oh well, I have come a long way from that time in my life. Anyway, soon I will be counting down until my honeymoon in Florida!!! August 16-23. Can't wait!!!

1 Comments

1 Attachment(s) It's about that time :)
by: teacher24, 07-20-2008

So, here I am trying to begin organizing and preparing for September. My computer is a huge piece of you know what, so I am doing everything I can not to loose everything I have so far done. So, I am going to attempt to attach some documents here. I am also emailing them to myself too, just to be safe. Feel free to look at my documents and tell me what you all think!!! Any constructive criticism from my fellow PT colleagues would be appreciated!

3 Comments

organization sheet
by: teacher24, 07-17-2008

ok, so this is just a beginning outline of all the things I need to do before school starts. It's a lot, but it's do-able.
Organizing for the new school year

File any loose papers used throughout the year
Organize centers
Literacy centers math centers learning centers
Ø Objectives
Ø Materials
Ø Tasks
Ø Task cards
Go over/change rules, routines and procedures
Make schedule
Create calendar- map out September and October- look at
Ø Curriculum maps
Ø Standards books
Plan for
Ø Letter of the day
Ø Introduction of centers
Ø Center rotation
Ø Daily 5- read to self
Break through to Literacy
Ø Book of the week
Ø Computer instruction
Math routines
5 senses unit
All about me theme
Morning meeting
Portfolios and bulletin boards
Standards-tasks-rubrics-conference sheets
Writer’s workshop
Aim and focus questions

4 Comments

I love children!!!:)
by: teacher24, 07-13-2008

My neices and nephew comming over yesterday was such a good experience!!! I was nervous because my husband and I have never had kids come for the day, let alone the night. But by the time last night came, I was wishing they could stay over another night. We had to return them to my mother in law though, because soon they will be going back to their parents in New Hampshire (my bro & sis in law). We did everything... you name it, we did it... painting, jewlery making, collage, games, (I played twister for the very first time and LOVED it!!!), we went out to the park for awhile... we ate pizza and icecream and cookies (not all at the same time). I was nervous because until yesterday, I didn't know what it was like to be an auntie (or an ti-ti), but it is soooooooo cool. We read books (I have tons) and they loved my chicka-chicka tree. More important, my husband and I got a little taste of parent life. I do not have any children (except my classroom kids), and am undecided as to whether or not I want any of my own. Anyway, I am glad that we had them over, and glad that it is over. Now, next week, I will DEFINITELY begin preparing for September. I just hope my computer will act right.

4 Comments

summer blues
by: teacher24, 07-07-2008

So, last summer this time, I was already organizing away, filing papers, making center signs, things like that, to get ready for the new school year. This summer... nothing. Well, the one thing I did begin was sorting the garbage from the good. I was able to sort through all my paper work and throw out things that I know I would not be needing. Even still, for some reason, I have not been in an organizing mood. After this week, I am going to buckle down and get some organizing done. It was the only thing that made this past school year smooth, and so I know it's what I need to do this year. After Ant's nephew and neices come and leave later in the week, I will be able to focus more. Right now though, I am nervous, because they will be comming only for a night on Thursday, but even still, we have never entertained young children together alone. I know I am their aunt, but by law, not by blood. I blame my mom, for not giving me any siblings, and thus, not having any neices or nephews of my own. I am a teacher, and don't know why I am nervous to entertain these children...that's what I do, teach and entertain, but I do not want to step on anyone's toes... I mean, the parents, my in-laws, my DH. oh well, we'll just have to see how it goes.

2 Comments

Goals for the 2008-2009 school year:
by: teacher24, 07-19-2008

Goals for the 2008-2009 school year:

*Create a better and brighter classroom!!!
*Work on designing, preparing, and teaching literacy & math centers
*Create task cards kindergartners can "read"
*Be more consistent

To be continued...

4 Comments

Almost a New Year
by: teacher24, 12-30-2007

Almost a new year and I am now married!!! Wow how the time goes. We are almost 100 days into the year and I feel good. The only thing I am ashamed of is the financial debt I have gotten myself into, but other than that, I feel pretty damn good. I just got married on Christmas Eve, my classroom is great. I feel myself becomming a more experienced teacher as the months go by, and only 4 months of grad school left!!! I think (and I really hope) that this is my year. I miss PT, and I feel so bad that I have not been on, but I swear, between work and school and the wedding, I was soooooooooo swamped. I just wanted to drop a line and say happy holidays to all!!!

2 Comments

Tired teacher playing hookie
by: teacher24, 09-12-2007

only six days of work and I am already exhausted!!! I feel so bad. I also feel bad for not going to class tonight. I had a bad headache and just need rest. Point blank, I cannot wait to graduate next May. I DON"T WANT TO DO THESE STUPID CLASSES ANYMORE!!! Sorry. They are not stupid. I've learned alot about myself as a teacher researcher. It's just that they are soooooooooooo time consuming, and truthfully, I'd rather put all that time into my teaching and my classroom. I am sick and tired of all the extra busy work. And I'm tired of being tired too.Today was an okay day though, except for the rain and me being so tired. And except for my para who I think is trying to secretly get me fired. I don't really think that, but the things she tries to get away with are insane!!! She's twice my age and it's like I have to tell her what to do like she's one of the kids!!! Okay... I'm through complaining... it's just nice to be able to let it out to those who I can relate to. I don't think anyone around me really even cares!!!

1 Comments

Week one is DONE!!!
by: teacher24, 09-07-2007

Today was only day four and boy am I tired!!! I am loving it though. My class is soooo adorable. So far I only have 11, but I know more are on their way. I have three boys who have already tried to become a clique (spelling???) and I have one who told me to shut up on his first day (yesterday). Boy am I in for a ride this year. I don't mind though, I am still very excited. I also have alot of criers this year. I do miss my former students though, and I have been in the yard during their recess to visit. I formed such a bond with them, and can't wait until this begins to happen with my new students.And oh how I miss writing and blogging on PT. I've been so wiped out every night this week. Not to mention I've also began my classes this week also. AND, I was fuming earlier this week because after last week I was told by my admin. that my room looked soooooooo good, and this week I was told at like 20 minutes to three that my entire setup needed to be changed. See, this is what I HATE about my place of business. I know, I know, what can I do other than give the people what they want? It's so not right though, especially after being told that it looked good. So now I know there are spies in my building, because what else would possess admin to come in when school has already officially started, when I spent the entire week prior setting up. Some one didn't like what they saw (or in street lingo... they were hatin'), and I got the brunt of it. Oh well...I'm just trying not to let anything mess up my year with my kids. Other than that, I feel very confident about the year. I would like to add more about some other things that went on this week but I have to go now, so I'll save that for another time. Good night and enjoy, everyone!!!

1 Comments

Tomorrow
by: teacher24, 09-04-2007

Tomorrow is the big day, and boy am I excited and nervous. I am just praying for a good year, filled with fun and lots of learning!!! Things seem to be on the right foot so far. My room is looking good and I am prepared with activities and transitions. Not knowing what to expect makes me nervous, as well as knowing that one of my flaws is not being able to take things slow. You know, I bet if I just take things slow, things would go alot smoother in my classroom. So all day tomorrow (half day Tues. and Wed.) and after that, I will just be saying to myself, "take it slow, take your time, you have the whole school year ahead". I get so nervous because I know these first days and weeks are crucial to the entire year. Well, I will do well because I want to do well, and that is that. Wish me luck!!!

1 Comments

A few days away...my fears and goals
by: teacher24, 08-31-2007

So here it is... Wednesday night. I just came in from class a little while ago. Not my classroom, my class at CCNY. My classroom looks GREAT!!! I've already gotten compliments from my supervisor and others who have just passed by. I was going for the bright, early childhood look, and it looks really nice. My chicka chicka boom boom tree looks really good too. Now I am nervous though, because as good as my room looks, I hope my teaching is as good. though I an no longer a fresh out of college teacher and though I have already been slapped by the reality of what the school system is really like, I want to be creative and innovative this year. I want my students to be totaly into me and learning with me. I am not too fond of the school I work in, but I really want to make a good first impression for my students and their parents and I want to stay that way so that my students learn and have FUN!!! is that too much to ask? Help me. How can I stay enthusiastic throughout the year?

3 Comments

And it is On!!!
by: teacher24, 08-29-2007

Well, here it finally is...one day left before I go back into my classroom. I have the first 3 days of the week to get my classroom together, and the last 2 days are devoted to staff development... ughhh. Anyway, I am finally going to get to go in and set up what I have been visualizing since I left the room in June. I've been so jealous of all of you who have had numerous opportunities to go into your classrooms . What can I say... I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED to start the new year!!! The kids start Sept. 5th, and boy oh boy am I nervous! I have been sitting on my fiance's computer for the past 3 days finishing up things that I will need for this upcomming week. I made alot of signs and decoratives this year... This year I really want my room to reflect my style- Flashy and colorful. I am slightly disappointed because there were some things that I wanted to purchase but could not afford, but I guess I have to be happy with what I was able to get.Something is better than nothing, right? I am still waiting for my behavior chart to come in the mail...the theme is bees. In the meantime, tomorrow I will make up a quick traffic light system just incase my order does not come in on time. You never know. Well, I have only planned for the first week, but I will force myself to sit down and make a generic plan for the second week...I say generic because I am sure I will meet with the other teachers to plan, plus, everything in my school (and for anyone who knows the NYCBOE) is ALWAYS tentative. Not only do I go back to work this week, I also start my LAST 2 semesters at CCNY. I have class Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 4:30 to 7. Not too bad. Atleast I'm done writing my thesis. AND, I will make it home in time to catch Big Brother on Tuesday nights!!! Oh well, now I will try to relax because I was not able to sleep last night- that's how strong my anxiety is already!!! It won't last though- I give it until the 2nd week of september and I'll be sleeping like a baby. Goodnight All!!!

3 Comments

Getting Ready For School
by: teacher24, 08-23-2007

So here I am, still on my fiance's computer...I won't be on mine for awhile, until I can fork up the 90$ for a new ac adapter. Seriously, I am not made of money. I just spent almost my whole paycheck for the supplies for my classroom. Oh well. I am getting ready for my summer to officially end. I am anxious to see how my year plays out. And, I couldn't even go to Office Max to get anything laminated b/c I don't have a teacher's id. I'll be working on that this year. Oh well. Hopefully I will be able to afford to go the Kinkos in Harlem. Anyway, I am going to go finish my welcome letter (thanks to everyone who sent theirs...SOOOOOO helpful), and then I will watch Big Brother and the first 48 on A&E...ttyl my PT friends!!!

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What a Day!!!!! :(
by: teacher24, 08-22-2007

I am so emotional right now that I don't know where to begin. I woke up this morning prepared to finish my lesson plans for the month of September and my homework as well, and what can I say, today was a major bust. My computer completely crashed and I had to do a system reinstall. I lost everything. I was trying to repair it and something went wrong and I had to reinstall my whole system. Can you believe it? So here I spent all day trying to fix the damn thing, and last night I had just wrote my welcome letter, student info sheets and some other important documents. OMG I am so upset I could cry again. I had lots of music and pics om my comp. too. AND, to top it off, the stupid ac adapter broke too!!! So here I am, 11:26 pm, on my fiance's computer...no offense to him but I do not like his computer the way I like mine. I want to kick myself and throw my notebook across the room. I am soooo upset. And I had the only PT withdrawls...I didn't expect that. Talk about a waste of a day. Tomorrow I will go to PC Richard or some other store to try to get another ac adapter. In the mean time, I'm cranky because I thought I would be able to relax and finish up some stuff in my final week of being home, then this happens. I know I will bounce right back, but I just feel awful right now ...oh yeah, and I need to learn how to do all those expressions, cause right now all I know is the happy face and sad face expressions, and I was not at all happy today and I am mad and everything else!!! Goodnight and hopefully tomorrow I can visit PT on my computer!!!

1 Comments

Here's to a new school year
by: teacher24, 08-20-2007

Only one week left before the routines begin all over again. Back to waking up at 6am, not getting enough of my bed. Back to having to go to bed by midnight because eventhough I am so tired I can't seem to get to bed earlier because I always have to get something done. I will miss not having to wake up to the sounds of the alarm clock. I will miss going to bed whenever I feel like it. I will miss just lounging and doing nothing. I will miss chillin' with my fiance.

I love my job, but as you can tell, I am NOT big on routines (very ironic, isn't it?) and I will miss doing all those things that I do not get to do when school is in session (like watching day time television). And though I am generally a nice person, I am not thrilled about going back to work filled with PD's and ice breakers and getting to know you games for all the new staff (no offense to anyone new-I just hate all that stuff they make us do that takes time away from getting the classrooms together), plus I don't like alot of "fakeness". I know many of you know what I am talking about. I know teaching is my profession, but I am THERE FOR THE KIDS and don't need anyone smiling in my face acting like they wanna know ME but really wanna SPY on me.
I do have colleagues on my job that I deeply respect and enjoy, but I had to get that out for those who...well, you know.

I am looking forward to working with children again... that is the ABSOLUTE MOST HILIGHT of my job. I love kids because they can make you feel good without even knowing it! I love teaching and making it as fun as I possibly can, because I know that if I am bored by something, then the kids will definitely be bored by it.

I want to go back to work SURE and SECURE!!! I want it to show that I have grown as an educator. I want it to show in my classroom and in my organization. As much as I will miss summer, I will begin this year prepared and ready for everything, and will anticipate another summer, as it will be the beginning of many new things for me.

I am excited for kindergarten (I HOPE and PRAY) they did not change my grade...I am excited because I know who I will be working with and I really think we will make a great team.

I just wanted to get this out now as I revamp myself for a new school year with new possibilities...I am going to wow them (and hopefully myself too) this year.

1 Comments

Me
by: teacher24, 08-14-2007

I can't please everyone all of the time, right? I am 24, and feel as though I have sacrificed many things for others. Part of me doesn't know how to feel about that, part of me ignores it, and the last part of me feels resentful. I have no one to blame but myself though, right? I've made lots of mistakes, only mistakes someone my age is niave (spelling???) enough to make, and I am sure I will make lots more, but I am learning from them.

I am so excited to get back in the classroom, although I've been doing nothing this summer and that has felt great! I've really been taking time to plan and organize too, so I am hoping this year goes well. I wish I had teacher-friends who lived near-by or whom I am close to...cause I feel that my family and friends do not understand my career at all...I think it's hard for anyone who's not in the profession to understand what we go through, and that makes it harder for me because then it's like I have no support system, but I know my friends and family try really hard to help.

I don't have many friends...I've lost touch with most of them after I went away to college and many of them became moms...either moms or hard-core party girls...I talk to some of them every so often, but I feel a disconnect. I had mostly guy friends, but after I met my fiance, I turned them loose b/c most of them were guys I had dated at some time in my teenage life.

I am an only child and grew up pretty lonely, but my mom became my best friend. She still is...I absolutly love her and feel very fortunate that we have an awesome relationship.

My father... that's a different story...he wasn't around, and he made alot of false promises to me when I was growing up...Now that I am successful and on my own, he tries harder and calls me now more than ever...I'm not disconnecting myself from him, but I don't make the effort because I feel like I don't care either way. I remember when I was 4 and he took me ant my neice to church, and told everyone that I was his granddaughter. And for the longest time, he was always trying to preach to me...blah blah blah, whatever.

I did have a father figure, however. For some reason though, as I got older, he went astray...I think it has alot to do with his own issues.

I am in a six-year relationship and am engaged...it's been a long engagement, and though he's ready to get married (we've been living together for a year), I am holding back...I don't want to get into that, because I've already been over it in my mind...I just want to make sure it's right...I know, I know, six years is a long time, but I don't like the idea of getting married just because we've been together so long...If it ain't broke, don't fix it...right??? We've been through alot...we were long distance for 4 years because I was away at college and he was in the marines(he even went to Iraq when the war first began)...I care for and love him deeply...He supported me financially when we were away, and I am supporting him now, while he's getting back on his feet. My family had a problem with this (still do, I guess), but he does his part too. I don't cook, he does, I work outside the home, he cleans and does laundry, so it balances itself out.

So, that's me. I love writing, though I don't do it as much. Highschool was when I was at my peak. I've written short stories, lots of poetry, and was even published in a youth newspaper. Teaching has my heart now. My first year was the worst, as it usually is for most. I had the kids and the supervisor from hell (sorry, but that's what it felt like)...no support, and bad management on my part (yes, I blame myself too...I can take responsibility for my actions also), but now I am going into year three, and I am prepared and ready. Regardless of how negative that first year experience was, I guess in some ways I needed it to help me grow and learn from it.

Consistency, model model model, follow through, organize, engage...this is what I am aiming for so hard this year. Be prepared for anything. I plan to make the most out of this year.

So, as I prepare during these last few weeks, I am reading trashy literature, watching trashy television, listening to trashy music (I always do these things when I am not working, but I like educational things too) and just lounging, doing nothing, because as I prepare to be teaching again, I am also preparing myself for my final courses at City College...I finished my Master's Thesis in May, so I have 2 semesters left, but they should be easy...this fall I will begin a practicum, and I will finish next May!!!

Anyway, let me get ready for another day of nothing...lol...my fiance says that I've been on the computer way too much this summer, and he's right, I have...That's because I found this forum...it's SOOOOO addictive...I keep checking for new posts every 30 minutes or so...but mostly everyone has started back by now, so there are not as many posts to read. I guess he's jealous that my computer is taking all his time, lol. I love my life, no matter how crazy it seems, and I'm just thankful to be alive and well.

0 Comments

Finally
by: teacher24, 08-12-2007

I finally got my blog! I am in an okay mood, I guess. I am soooo weird. I can go from ok to happy to aggrivated in a minute. I am preparing for my 3rd year of teaching...I am nervous; I am hopeful that it will be a great year. I worked so hard this summer to organize and mentally prepare myself for another school year. I am looking forward to working with children; I am dreading having to go to bed early and waking up early (how I became a teacher when I am such a night owl is beyond me). Well, I am going to watch some late night tv and drift off to sleep.

0 Comments

  

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